Ripple Effect

Yesterday was the worst day I have had as a mom. Really in perspective now I can see that there will probably be many more days in the future to take over the “worst day” crown but for now yesterday is reining. I, like the most of us, have been through some extremely difficult times in my life. I have had to overcome many obstacles and continue to work daily on many ongoing issues with my family. I thought there was nothing I couldn’t find a way to get through with God’s help. Well yesterday evening I let someone who really should have no power in my life push me over the edge. Literally, over the edge. I was seriously planning to take my perfectly normal, wonderfully bright three year old child to see a psychologist today. I knew it was an emergency and I had to get him in today. Then I started thinking perhaps I needed to go to, hey we all need to go even my 15 month old because obviously I am such a bad mom and human being that I have damaged us all beyond repair. I seriously wondered if the local psyc hospital could put us all in a room together for treatment. Yes I was broken. I had truly for the first time in my life completely lost it. I have complete and total faith in God. I truly believe in God all things are possible, but I was so far gone I couldn’t even think to turn to God for help. But God knew, he felt my pain, and sent me help. I finally came to my senses enough to realize I needed help. I had to call someone. I called a good friend who is very honest and supportive. I figured at least she could drive us to the psyc hosptial as I was sure I was not even competent to drive anymore.

In less than a five minute conversation her voice of reason had me back to functioning status. She is really wonderful with issues like this. Later last night I read her most recent blog post and my perspective was completely renewed and restored. I have let an issue that should have never been an issue completely take over mine and my families lives for the past two months. It has to do with preschool, yes preschool. It just sounds really stupid now that I am typing it but anything that effects your children is just traumatic to your parenting confidence and hurts your heart. After reading her post I realized how many more important things I could focus my energy on, how much more fun I could have, how many more wonderful conversations I can have with my family and friends, how many kind things I could be doing verses wasting my energy and efforts based on the lack of knowledge on someone else’s part

Now I am back, better than ever and determined to make only positive changes in my situation from now on. It also made me realize just how much of an effect we can  have on each other. We don’t stop to think that our actions kind or not effect not only those they are intended for but many others along the way. Others we had no clue could even be effected. Thank you mamadoggylove for casting the stone that started the ripple that led to Kristi’s post. Thank you Kristi just for being you! You can visit Kristi at Dying Arts

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